Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
