Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
