Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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