just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
