.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Let's get the cat blown out
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
