Kiss
Puke
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
