Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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