Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
