Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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