Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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