my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
