Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Can I color on your dick again?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
