Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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