I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
handjob tips. give me some.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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