The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
