he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
