Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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