I looked at my own cervix.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
