hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
