no, he came in my armpit
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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