So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
