my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
