chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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