I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
