see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
