I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
