why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
