I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Say something about gay babies.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
