Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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