GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
