kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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