She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
