The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
