I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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