did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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