she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
