dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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