i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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