I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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