i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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