dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
