She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
