I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
