allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
