i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
