I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
