i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
