Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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