when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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