THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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