is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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