I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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