D3 body, D1 cock
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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