He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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