***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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