wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize