Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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