I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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