ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I stole a fireplace last night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
