I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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