This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
